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Wuzzdate : WuzzRanting about Nolan Batman

I’m not a man who bows down and sucks another man’s dick, least of all Christopher Nolan’s! Look what he’s done to batman! Gone are the leather tights, the grappling hooks, the acrobatics through skyscrapers, and even, god help us, the batrangs!!! Blaspheme we say to a realistic batman and for a while Batman Begins was a perfect movie for naysayers. Batman Begins is about the story of Bruce Wayne taking on the mantle of the bat, not for revenge, but the cleansing of Gotham, one broken jaw at a time (granted Nolan’s Bat never broke a bone, let alone a jaw, but I’ll get to that later.). This journey begins at League of Shadows, where I for one groaned at considering what will soon happen there after; Bruce being considered the top student and the confrontation with Rh a-zal-gul most likely being underwhelming and rushed. Later we will get to the enjoyable part of the film, Morgan Freeman handing batman next generation armor, gadgets, and yes the tank-mobile. Even now a whole decade later, I still remember the glee on Morgan Freeman’s face when he finally gets to unleash his weapons of mass destruction on unsuspecting mobsters and gangsters, while smiling at Bruce’s “splunking” excuse. Fun times movie, fun times. A few moments later — eye gouging love story, a scarecrow who should have been main villain instead of a joke side character — we get the resurrected Rh a-zal-gul!!!! Who dies 10 minutes later. Cue end of movie….

The problem with Batman Begins is that its an origin story that besides Morgan Fucking Freeman, didn’t really need to be told. Its the 21st century, and it wasn’t that long ago we had both Batman The Animated Series and the Justice League/Justice League Unlimited. Go find a book and read if you don’t know who batman is. This movie lacked tension or presence and our main villain was a throw away. The movie spends a great amount of time and detail convincing, explaining, and ultimately justifying Batman in the “real” world, but not enough time giving me a good Batman story. Considering where the Dark Knight and Rises will go, this is easily a prequel that can be watched on DVD and dissected at your leisure but not the 1st movie of the trilogy.

But Wuzzman Christopher Nolan is a GOD! How can you be so mean!! Well in hindsight, consider what this new “grounded” batman means. No batrangs, no skyscrapers, no super natural. But, but batman was always a hard gritty, blah blah! Yes and no. I can respect Nolan for making batman a real person, but you kinda miss some psychosis if you do. No Clayface, no Mr. Freeze. No Mr. Freeze. Even scarecrow is a joke character instead of the scariest motherfucka you’ll know. So understandably the Dark Knight for me was wait and see at the time….

But DAMN YOU NOLAN AND HEATH LEDGER. I can sum up the movie as the “Joker” and that would be all that needs to be said. To the point that Begins becomes a distant shadow, the death of Rachael is the only thing you really need to watch Begins to understand the significance of. Everything stands on its own, like an island of awesome surrounded by even greater glory to its right and its prequel to the left. I don’t have words for this movie, though the ending didn’t wrap it up as well as I wanted, it left a good sized dangling pointer that crashed the nerd minds of several batman fans for years to come. Where begins is the explanation of Batman, Knight IS Batman and it was glorious.

At this point the only thing problematic about the series is that Batman despite his ninja training, and all his far east travel and physical training, is not the best fighter you’ve seen on film. A lot of what happens in Nolan Batman can be explained as “Batman shows up and everyone falls down.”. Though honestly that’s not a real complaint, having trusted Nolan, the difficulty of moving in a suit that most weigh 100 pounds is inherently higher than ScarletJo sweating her titts off in that leather body suit. And considering this fact, I appreciate that Nolan didn’t bullshit the audience and pretend that his batman isn’t a man sized tank on two legs.

So Wuzzman what do you think of the Dark Knight Rises? Better than Sex? Ok good night ya’ll….

Ok lets be honest if you didn’t think this movie was awesome this may sound like the ravings of a fanboy. Call me the Co-Host! But The Dark Knight Rises, feels less like the third part of the trilogy but what I wanted out of Batman begins. Like Batman Begins, this is a Bruce Wayne story from start to finish. Batman is a persona that Bruce must drag out the personal hell of his existence one last time to beat the new evil one last time. Along the way he faces his old demons, mainly the league of shadows and his own doubts about being batman. To me this is the most reasonable or in other words, normal batman I’ve ever seen. I always found batman dark and gritty because Batman himself was dark and gritty, yet Nolan’s batman is not. Nolan takes his villains and the situation to the apex of despair and yet Batman himself remains an average joe, not much unlike you or me, facing a crisis in identity and purpose. I want a life outside of Batman but the one woman I loved was taken from me. I’m prepared to die for Gotham because there is nothing else for me to live for. Why can’t I live as just Bruce Wayne? Only Afred sees Bruce for the vulnerable young man who still has a future if he only gave a shit. Contrast that to the animated series batman where Bruce Wayne was a life time ago, when his parents was alive and his biggest worry was when the next Zoro movie will come out. For most interpretations of Batman, the cowl was a symbol of fear and for the purpose of inflicting pain. Where as Nolan’s Bat is merely a symbol of justice and of the every man finally standing up for himself and his city.

Then you contrast that to Bane, who is what batman has been for decades (yet not always); a creature of the night, an engine of pain and broken bones. Bane has every right to call Bruce Wayne a pussy and their fight resembles one of ideology than test of martial prowess. It wasn’t Batman that defeated Bane, but Bruce Wayne proving that his hope and justice is worth more than Bane fear and threats. Which is hilarious coming from Batman.

In the end, we get a great Catwoman and even a great but short lived Talia Gul. Everything wraps up neatly and we get one of the most spazz in your seats endings I’ve every seen in cinema as far as my nerd mind can remember. All in all we should start a petition for a Christopher Nolan Robin trilogy. Or at least comic/animated series.

Alright Wuzzman signing out~~


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