Patrick D Mortal : January 25th, 2010

“So I have a joke to tell. A young man visits a catholic priest for his monthly confessional. Same day, every month, every year, for 40 years since this gentle old man was transferred here back in the 70s to replace some big shot who packed his bags for California, or Vegas. Never one for the small details. Now this young man was a peculiar young man, not necessarily for the content of his confessionals, but for one small little detail that few people are apt to believe. And thankfully this kind old priest never reports. For no what matter what day or season, no matter how often you cut the cheese on the math, this young man doesn’t seem to age.”

“Don’t find that funny? Ok maybe you simply don’t find it possible. Fair enough. You might find what I’ve been telling the same man, every month, of every year, for forty years funny. Or maybe you already think I’m crazy. But I can tell you’re new so maybe I shouldn’t bust your chops. “

“I don’t think your crazy.”

“I think I misspoke. It’s not that I can tell that your new, it’s that I know your new, to here anyway. Henry died didn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah he tends not to miss our chats. Stroke wasn’t it? Or plain old heart failure. Told him he needs a new heart, but stubborn bastard didn’t listen huh.”

“I-”

“Don’t worry, I don’t mean to disrespect, Henry was a friend, who also thought I was crazy but after sometimes he started to believe me. Or at least understand me.”

“Father Henry was indeed a good patient man.”

“Don’t I know it. Gentle souls like him show up but not too often. Told em once that I was considered converting back in the 1920′s when this cathedral was first built. Helped out Cardinal Luey when they nearly burned the place down and figured why not. Been avoiding the cross for about as long as it was invented. Remembered spending sometime up there myself, figured I rather not wear any reminders around my neck for fun. Didn’t seem right to me, but you know times change and you figure why not? Wouldn’t hurt me none, but you know I came from a time when your words stood for something and in the end I figured I rather not join your club, conflict in interest and all.”

“Father Ron?”

“Yes, yes…just give me a moment to think.”

“Hey don’t wreck your brain over it now, give it a minute, you’ve heard wilder yarns huh? Tell me I’m wrong! And besides I came here to confess remember? Just wanted to loosen you up a little.”

“Anyway, here’s the thing, it’s January the 25th using a modern calender correct? Well I can’t be quite sure when it happened. It’s been so long that at this point I’m just picking a random date. Same day every month no exceptions. Easy enough rule to follow I guess. The day, the month, hell the year doesn’t really matter. Cardinal Luey got me hooked on venting my problems. Considered me a troubled youth when we met. Well ‘youth’ compared to him anyway. But defiantly troubled, gliding on a pound of opium and a half a gallon of moonshine troubled. Even to this day I’m not sure what month, or year we met. I got the 25th off a newspaper so not sure it was the 25th. But you know it, that meeting, returned some sanity to a very dark time in my life, so short of excepting the lord and savior in my heart, at least I try to drag ass to the same old spot and keep it open  with whatever change I’ve managed to collect along the way.”

“Now in hindsight you might be thinking, being the priest of a New York cathedral and all, that I’m some boozing and whoring druggy that needs to see the light again. A month here and that is to be expected and it’s not like I haven’t enjoyed boozing and fornicating. Its  a sin for me to say otherwise. But at the end of the day, I like you have less material concerns to sleep at night with. In a way we deal with the same problem, just on different scales.”

“What is it son?”

“The object of my confession. The words I’m afraid to utter….”

“Don’t be afraid to confess your sins before the Lord son.”

“Sins? What if I told you that 2000 years ago aliens abducted me, tore me apart, and put me back together? Than they talked to me. Explain to me what they are, where they come from, and what they do. What they did to me? What they made me into, their gift to me that I didn’t deserve. A gift you’ll think that I squandered if you believed me. You see they made me immortal, as in doesn’t die unless exceptionally violent means. What would you do with eternal life? On earth I mean. Aw you’d be beside yourself. Me my future was grunt for the Roman Empire or shoveling dung and making horse shoes…so frankly I was rather short on bright ideas back than. And there was the catch hanging over me. Always a catch, though not like I had a choice, abduction and all. If I wanted to opt out all I had to do was pick an excessive painful death. Otherwise the catch applies.”

“Oh not curious huh? Figures I’ve lost me marbles and all sense. Heard it all now? Well fair enough. But I just have to tell you anyway. Its my sin you know. Not in the sense of what I’ve done but in the sense of what I’m going to do. Pretty bad stuff. Ready? Sitting down properly? Used the restroom recently? Ok thing is, the catch, pretty damn terrible thing to have over your shoulder. Didn’t believe it at first because well, 27AD shit shoveler who can’t read just couldn’t imagine it. 2000 years ago they, the aliens, looked like Gods to me but now? We put a man on the moon for christ-sake, s’cuse my cursing, and that was only 50 odd years ago. So yeah my perspective changed over the years and it started to hit me, about two hundred years ago, that the conditions regarding my relative immortality may need to be taken seriously.”

“And you may be thinking, get to the point all ready. And I will, just need to swallow some bile as I say this. Again disturbing to think about really. I remember what they showed me, their plan and how they go about it. Makes eternal lakes of fire sound about as tame as water-boarding is to be skinned alive. You see at some point in our natural history, as science marches on, we’re going to look beyond putting a man on mars. And when we do we’re going to want our space ships to go farther, faster so we can colonize planets further and further away. When this happens, when the day comes when we’re at the cusp of truly exploring the cosmos to plant our seed on foreign soils, I have to make a phone call. A long distance phone call to the same people that made me what I am today. And they’ll come, not in peace, or to make war. There too advance for either. They just want to neuter us. Tear us apart and than leave those behind with a bare minimum of functioning brain cells. Sparing only me.”

“And that’s just PG abridged version. Are you imagining what they’ll do to me if I don’t call. I can’t, but they’ve told me. In terms I’m still not able to understand. But I rather that not happen. Any of it. Either way you slice it. So that’s my dilemma, that’s my confession.  Every January 25th. Till that day comes, because I don’t know what I’ll do. I mean I was never a strong person to begin with, so I really don’t know… and the fact that I don’t know what I’d really do…isn’t that a sin?”

2 Comments

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2 responses to “Patrick D Mortal : January 25th, 2010

  1. Hi there! I realize this is kind of off-topic but
    I needed to ask. Does building a well-established website like yours require a large amount of work?
    I am completely new to writing a blog however I do write in my journal on a daily basis.
    I’d like to start a blog so I can easily share my personal experience and views online. Please let me know if you have any kind of recommendations or tips for new aspiring blog owners. Appreciate it!

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